


Clueless

by DoneInLove



Series: Had to Start Somewhere [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck Gets a Backstory, Buck at college, Buck/Devin (omc), Buddie at the end, F/M, M/M, Multi, Original Trans Character - Freeform, Trans Female Character, buck will eventually get his too, buck/devin(omc)/morgan(ofc), dumb college boys being dumb, mentions of cheating, mentions of polyamory, mentions of threesomes, trans character gets a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoneInLove/pseuds/DoneInLove
Summary: “So, sweet baby brother - he who thought he would know by age 19 if he weren’t straight - when did it finally hit you?” Maddie teased over glasses of wine in Buck’s living room. “A year ago? A month? Yesterday?”“Junior year of college.”Maddie whipped her head around comically. “You’re joking.”He shook his head, smirking. “Nope. Took until about the end of the year to really hit home, but I think the whole ‘enjoying sex with men’ thing is what finally did it.”Buck didn’t realize Maddie’s eyes could get that large until that moment. He could almost see the gears turning in her pretty little head.“Devin.” It was the only thing she said, and it came after an excruciating full two minutes of silence.Or, an in-depth look into that scene from "When it Started" about Buck's college roommate and their little exploration into the depths of human sexuality.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Character(s), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Character/Original Character
Series: Had to Start Somewhere [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550251
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	Clueless

**Author's Note:**

> This probably won't make any sense contextually unless you've read "When it Started", but if you just want to read about Buck's made-up college roommate and their ridiculous history anyways, welcome to the world I've made for these goons! 
> 
> Also, I wanted to put out a quick warning, so if this is something that might affect you, be advised to head the the end notes to see a potentially spoiler-y TW regarding the 'trans female character' bit.

Nineteen year old Evan Buckley had always been close to his older sister Maddie, and him going away to college hadn’t changed that in the slightest. He’d been there for a little over two months when Maddie had texted him saying that she was coming home to Hershey for a long weekend and wanted to visit with him. He’d wormed his way out of his classes that Friday and made the 20 minute drive to their childhood home as fast as possible. He was greeted with the blessed sight of only Maddie’s car in the driveway, and hoped that his parents were on one of their extended business trips and he wouldn’t have to see them after all. 

Part of the reason Maddie and Evan were so close despite the years of age difference between them were their parents business trips. After Maddie turned 13, the Buckley’s stopped ‘wasting money’ on babysitters for their children and instead just upped their older’s allowance as a twisted form of compensation for making her essentially Evan’s second mother. When their parents were away on business, Maddie and Evan would be left to fend for themselves in their large suburban ranch house and it only brought them closer over the years. 

When Evan and Maddie hugged it out in the foyer, his suspicions were confirmed; the house would be free of the elder Buckley’s presence all weekend. 

Evan had been regularly talking to Maddie over text and phone calls since she moved out for her own first year of college a few years before. She’d been hearing all about how his first couple months at school had been going since she helped him move into his dorm, but as he started making and then cleaning up lunch with his big sister, he found himself continuing to gush about all the great things he’d experienced since being away from home. That, evidently, included story after story about his newest friend. 

“I wonder if your roommate realizes how much of a boy crush you have on him, Evan,” Maddie mused after her brother had finished telling her yet another anecdote explaining how amazing and talented and smart his roommate Devin was. 

Evan turned around abruptly, dish towel frozen in mid air, and stared at his sister. 

“What? Jesus Maddie, no, it’s not like that at all.” He couldn’t believe that she could think he had a crush on Devin in the slightest. “I just admire the guy. Plus, I’m not even gay. And I doubt Devin is either. You should see the amount of pu-” 

Maddie glared at Evan.

“Uh, I mean, the number of girls he gets with. Definitely not gay.”

Maddie rolled her eyes and turned back to the sink of dishes she was slowly washing. “Maybe it’s all a deflection.” Evan scoffed. “Or maybe he’s bi. I’m sure dating girls is a lot easier for him.”

Evan huffed out a laugh and decided to indulge in Maddie’s silly theory a little bit. “Alright fine, let’s say that’s true, whatever. Still doesn’t change the fact that _I don’t like men_.”

She just shrugged. “Eh, you’ve only been away at college a couple months. You never know what kind of discoveries you might make.”

“Come on Maddie. I think I would know by now if I wasn’t straight.”

“Relax baby brother, I’m just fucking with you. No need to get all huffy trying to defend your masculinity or anything. But,” she said, looking Evan straight in the eyes and pointing at him with an uncanny resemblance to their mother, “When you come to me to say I was right all along, you can’t expect me to not rub it in a little bit.”

When Evan went back to school a couple of days later, mentally refreshed after a weekend with his best friend, he all but forgot about his sister’s dumb joke of a conversation until much later. 

\---

When he’d met Devin at the beginning of their freshman year, Buck was still going by Evan and dreaming of becoming a Navy Seal. He also hated Devin’s guts upon their first meeting and managed to make a complete ass of himself along the way.

Their university had always sent each student the email of the person they would be rooming with each year. Evan, being eager to meet new people, sent Devin an email almost immediately, introducing himself to his new roommate weeks before his first semester of college started. The fact that Devin had never responded to him got under Evan's skin and made him reluctant to even meet him, let alone room with the guy all year.

That, of course, set the tone of their first meeting, where Evan barely grunted a hello at the large mass of muscle on the floor that was waving at him in between doing sit-ups. Evan dropped the box in his hands onto the bare bed and ignored the judging look on Maddie’s face as she passed him. He mumbled something about too many muscles and not enough brains on the walk back to the car before she smacked him upside the head and told him to be nice. 

Devin didn’t try to talk to him again the rest of the day, and Evan only realized what an ass he’d been when he opened his school email account later that night. 

There, sitting at the top of his inbox was a reply from Devin to the email sent weeks prior. And by the looks of it, he replied to Evan only a few hours before he and Maddie arrived on campus to move him in. 

_Hey Evan!_

_So sorry I haven’t been able to respond to you yet. I honestly didn’t even have access to this email account until I got on campus this morning and went to the Student Center to figure out what was up with it. Turns out the temporary password they gave me was wrong. So dumb haha_

_Anyways, I’m looking forward to meeting you too man! I’m actually from Kentucky, so I’m really gonna need someone who knows the area better than me. Hope you won’t mind me tagging along for a while until I get familiar with things. Also hope…_

Evan groaned and let his head fall back and hit the wall behind him. A total miscommunication. Devin didn’t choose not to reply on purpose like Evan thought, and it was actually _him_ that was a jackass, not his new roommate. 

“What a fucking dumbass,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed his laptop onto the bed so he could stand up. “Why am I like this? Why am I so stupid sometimes? Jesus...”

Devin was in the bathroom when Evan had pulled out his computer, so he didn’t see Evan’s little self-depreciating moment or him root around at the bottom of basket of clothing. He walked back into the main room just in time for Evan to pull out what he was looking for, though. Evan knew he made a terrible impression and that his roommate probably thought he was the worst by that point in the night, especially if the look Devin shot his way said anything. 

Evan kicked the clothes basket back under his bed and turned to face Devin. 

“Hey, so, uh...you probably think I’m a total jackass, and to be honest, I don’t blame you at all.” Devin cocked an eyebrow and Evan pressed on. “I got all butthurt over the fact that you didn’t ever respond to my email a few weeks ago and I kind of thought you were the ass but that’s definitely me, because I didn’t even think of why else you might not respond, like the fact that you might not have access to your school email yet or that maybe - “

“Whoa, bro, slow down,” Devin said, chuckling and holding up a hand as if to tell Evan to calm down. “No need to explain. I get it.”

“Yeah but I don’t want you to think I’m normally this hot-headed or anything. I really just got all up in my feelings about this because I was kinda stupid excited to get off to college and meet cool new people. So,” Evan held out what he dug out of his clothes basket; a brand new bottle of Three Olives vodka that he smuggled out of his father’s overabundant liquor cabinet the day prior. “As an apology for me being a total douchebag all day today, I have a peace offering…?” He said it almost like it was a question because as he stood there with his arm extended, he thought, _’Shit, what if he doesn’t drink? Is this peer pressure? Am I peer pressuring him? Fuck!’_

Devin’s smirk turned into a full on grin and he walked toward Evan. “Hell yeah dude!” He slapped Evan on the shoulder and put his fist in the air, waiting for a fist bump. Evan lowered the bottle and tapped Devin’s fist with his free hand, smiling right back. 

They didn’t go through that whole bottle in one night, but the few shots they did have helped clear the air and set a new tone between the two. Evan was happy to be Devin’s Pennsylvania tour guide - or at least for the areas around their school’s campus - and Devin was eager to include Evan into any and all plans he’d found himself with. 

By the end of their freshman year, Evan and Devin had become practically inseparable, which led to Buck getting his nickname to avoid confusion over the similarities in their names. Evan embraced his new nickname and began going by Buck almost exclusively, even when Devin wasn’t around. It had, in a way, become a part of him by that point. 

Both boys had also been embracing the fact that they were young, attractive, and single. It wasn’t uncommon for them to leave parties or bars with at least one girl on each of their arms. And before long, they got so comfortable with each other that they no longer cared if the other wanted to ‘use the room’ when they were still in it. As long as the girl didn’t mind, Buck or Devin didn’t even bother leaving the dorm when the other went at it. 

The first time one of Buck’s hookups suggested Devin join them, the two boys looked at each other and just shrugged, laughing. Devin put his book down, pulled off his shirt, and crossed the room to two eager sets of arms. Both Buck and Devin had taken part in threesomes before then, but it was always with two girls and one of them until that point. With how comfortable the two boys were around each other, even sexually, it made enough sense to both of them that they could be into sharing one girl between the two of them just as well. 

It became a much more common thing than Buck ever imagined, but he figured, if he was a girl, he’d probably jump at the opportunity to have two beefcakes shower him with that kind of attention too. 

Sometimes the girls would suggest that Buck and Devin show each other some of that attention. Buck didn’t think too hard about it; he mostly got off on his partner’s pleasure, so if she got all hot from him kissing another guy and feeling him up a bit, sure, that could work for him too. Devin seemed to not mind it either, so if that’s what the girl wanted, they obliged. Buck always had been a big fan of kissing, and having another mouth on his felt good no matter who it was. Or how much stubble there was that he wasn’t used to scratching him. But no matter how into it Buck and Devin got, there was always an unspoken agreement between them that they wouldn’t go lower than the waist, and it wasn’t brought up verbally until well into their junior year. 

\---

They had gotten an apartment together at the start of that year, just off campus, and just shitty enough that they didn’t feel like they were completely wasting their money. 

Devin had gotten back from class one day in an unusually good mood, and Buck just had to pry. 

“I met someone today, man," Devin answered, smiling. "And I really like her. I tried all my usual tricks on her and everything, but she wouldn’t bite.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “Then why the hell are you smiling like an idiot?”

Devin shook his head. “No, I mean, she was totally into me too, but she said, and I quote, _’I’m not that type’a girl, sweetcheeks’._ ” 

Buck couldn’t help but notice the dopey look on his best friend’s face, but was just as confused. “Okay, but you don’t date. You fuck around. So if she’s ‘not that type’a girl’, then she’s straight up not your type, bro.”

“I don’t know dude. There’s just something about her. We made a date for Friday. Like an actual date. I haven’t been on an actual date in years, man.”

Buck whistled in disbelief. “Well shit, I guess she really is something special then. I’m happy for you Devin.” Buck clapped him on the shoulders and started toward the kitchen so Devin wouldn’t see the look on his face. He didn’t know why that new disappointed him like it did. He should have been happy for his friend, like he said he was. But Buck couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to dramatically shift in his closest friendship. 

He never could have guessed just how much though.

Devin went on three dates with this girl - Morgan - and Buck was a little let down that he no longer had his usual partner in crime for finding hookups, not that he had a hard time on his own reeling in a catch, but he was happily surprised at how little else had changed between them. That sentiment flew right out the window the day Devin burst into Buck’s room with a panicked look on his face. 

Buck sat up quick and moved to the edge of his bed. “Shit man, you okay?”

Devin didn’t look okay. He shook his head and walked himself over to sit next to Buck. “I don’t know what to do Evan. I’m kinda lost right now.”

Buck hadn’t heard his friend call him by his first name in so long, it was like being doused in cold water, sending shivers up his spine. 

“What’s going on? You’re starting to freak me out.”

“ _I’m_ freaking out, dude. I have a date with Morgan tonight, and she just sent me this -” he started, pulling out his phone to look for the message. “I don’t know what this means, let alone how to respond or what to do.”

Buck stared at the text for probably far too long, trying to figure out the issue. He looked back at Devin and saw the same panic as earlier, but Buck had to force himself not to laugh even still. “Bro, come on. You know what this means. _’I can’t wait to see you tonight baby’ *eggplant eggplant peach peach*_ Tonight’s the night man. She’s finally ready -”

“What if I’m not?” Devin yelled, cutting Buck off abruptly. 

He just stared again, mouth gaping like a fish. “What in the actual fuck are you talking about?”

Devin took a steadying breath. “I didn’t tell you because it’s not really my place, but Morgan’s trans. I’ve never been with a trans girl before. I don’t know what to expect. She sent two eggplants; does that mean she wants me to touch her eggplant or that she just really wants mine? And two peaches? Does she want my peach? Does she want my eggplant in her peach? I - I don’t know man! I don’t know what to do here!”

Buck blinked a couple times, trying to let all that sink in before answering. He huffed out a small laugh and said, “Whoa, okay, I see the confusion. Did you not know this when you started going out with her? Is that why you’re so freaked?”

“What? No man, it’s not because I didn’t know and now I’m being weird and douchey because I just found out or something. She told me the first day we met.”

“Okay, so weren’t you kind of expecting this to happen eventually then? Or were you actually just never planning on having sex with her?”

Devin momentarily stopped freaking out to look at Buck like he had two heads. “What the fuck man. You know me too well to think I’d give up sex.”

Buck put his hands up defensively. “Hey, I’m just trying to get the full picture here. I still don’t see why you’re in crisis mode all of a sudden over this. You knew what you got into from the start, and now you finally get the chance to sleep with the girl you’re practically infatuated with. What exactly is your issue?”

Devin groaned and fell back into Buck’s piled up comforter. “What if I suck?”

“Somehow I don’t think she’d be opposed to that,” Buck said, snickering. 

Devin choked on a laugh. “You’re an asshole.”

Buck smiled and laid down next to his best friend. “Sorry, it’s just - dude, I can’t even imagine a scenario in which you’d be bad in bed. You’re almost as amazing in the sack as me.”

A heavy arm smacked Buck in the chest. “Again, I state, you’re an asshole.” Devin rolled so he could see Buck better and he did the same. “I’ve just...I’ve never touched a penis that wasn’t attached to my own body. I have no clue how to do anything other than what I do to myself, and that’s like nothing. And I know there’s all kinds of things I could do wrong, especially if she’s got any body dysphoria or anything. Like, does she even call it her penis? I...fuck dude, there’s so much I could do wrong. The last thing I want to do is fuck up my chances by being an ignorant douchebag.”

“Devin, listen, the fact that you - a cis straight man with a history of being a total slut - even know what dysphoria is is probably a big tip that you aren’t going to be an ignorant douchebag about this. Plus, just talk to her, man! You won’t know what her boundaries are if you don’t ask. Same as any other girl you’ve been with.”

“Alright, fine, great points. But still, what if I suck? The fact still stands that I don’t even know what to do, let alone how to do it right.” Devin groaned again and rolled back to stare at the ceiling. 

“Just do what girls have done to you before. What did you like that someone else might like too. Or again, just ask -”

Devin cut him off again. “I should practice!”

“Practice what, dumbass? And how?”

Buck watched as Devin slowly turned his head to meet his eyes with a pleading look. “Practice with you?” He said it hesitantly, almost like a question.

“Now who’s the asshole?”

“No, I’m serious Evan.” 

_’There he goes again with the name thing,’_ Buck thought, chest suddenly feeling tight as Devin continued. 

“You’re my closest friend. We’ve shared how many girls before? I mean, goddamn, it’s basically like we’ve already had sex together, just always with someone else there. What’s the difference if now it’s just us?”

“Jesus Christ Dev, the difference is that we’ve never done anything below the belt with each other. The difference is that I’ve never touched another dick either.” Buck took a long breath and tried to force this conversation back on track. “Plus, if you’re trying to say that having sex with me is going to prepare you to have sex with your girlfriend, then maybe you are an ignorant douchebag, after all. I’m a man, she’s not. I don’t care if she has a penis; it’s not the same. Just ask your damn girlfriend what she wants in bed.”

“It’s not that. Not really. You’re totally right and I know that. But also...” Devin turned his whole body then, bringing a hand up to Buck’s arm and knocking their knees together. “I’ve thought about this before,” he said so softly, Buck almost didn’t hear it. “I’ve thought about us. I realized I really actually like kissing you and touching you when a girl’s watching. And I’ve thought, well, what would it be like if she wasn’t there? Would I still be into it? Would I still be thinking, ‘Maybe Buck won’t mind if my hand slips a little lower’?” Devin’s hand mimicked his words and traveled down Buck’s arm to his hip. “Thinking about it right now just made it all come back up. Forget Morgan for now. This is about you and me.”

Buck’s breath was ragged already and his heart was beating out a heavy rhythm. He knew he should have stopped Devin before he did something he’d regret, but he could barely bring himself to try. 

“Devin, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Don’t you?” He was leaning in closer and ghosting his fingers over the skin above Buck’s belt. “This could be good for both of us. This isn’t about Morgan anymo -”

Buck cut him off with a hasty kiss and threw his restraint to the floor, where their clothes landed only minutes later. 

It happened a few more times over the following few months. Devin always had some kind of excuse and Buck was never too worried about how flimsy they sounded. He forced himself to ignore how guilty he felt after each time for continuing to enable Devin to cheat on his girlfriend. 

One time, after a long period of it not happening at all, Devin’s excuse came afterward, when they were lying in Buck’s bed again, catching their breath. 

“Morgan thinks it’s hot.” 

Buck was confused, but about to crack a joke about the weather anyways when Devin looked him in the eyes and said, “She wants you to join us sometime.”

Then _that_ went on for a few months, Buck almost like a third member of their couple. But before long, Buck noticed he was missing something from their whole arrangement. Devin and Morgan had a strong bond that wasn’t shared with Buck in the same way, and Buck himself didn’t exactly feel anything particularly deep for them either. He decided he could do no-strings-attached just fine, that he could probably do strings-firmly-attached if he found the right person, but he couldn’t keep doing the whole strings-sometimes-kind-of-attached thing with Devin and Morgan.

\---

They went back to being friends after Buck took himself out of the equation, and Buck went back to sleeping with anyone he was even vaguely attracted to. Buck was even Devin’s best man in 2015 and still smiled every time he came across pictures of those two or got text updates about their adorable little family. 

But Buck never told Maddie. 

He never gave her the chance to rub it in his face that she was right about everything after all. 

It’s not that he didn’t want to admit that he liked men. Buck eventually found comfort in his bisexuality and still occasionally slept with guys. Maddie was definitely right about it being easier to get with women, though. Not that Buck would tell her that. 

He thought it was probably mostly out of spite. Why let her have all the fun in rubbing it in just how right she was, when he could just keep that little secret wrapped up tight and never have to deal with the ‘I told you so’ that would surely come? But he knew that another part of it was that it didn’t feel important when he wasn’t really doing long term relationships anyways. And even after he decided to turn into Buck 2.0 and leave the casual sex thing behind, he didn’t think it was likely that he’d settle down with a man any time soon. 

He didn’t tell Maddie until she finally asked him what made him realize he liked men enough to go after Eddie Diaz. 

\---

“So, sweet baby brother - he who thought he would know by age 19 if he weren’t straight - when did it finally hit you?” Maddie teased over glasses of wine in Buck’s living room. “A year ago? A month? Yesterday?”

“Junior year of college.” 

Maddie whipped her head around comically. Buck thought if it came any more abruptly, she might have thrown her chardonnay all over his couch with the motion. “You’re joking.”

He shook his head, smirking. “Nope. Took until about the end of the year to really hit home, but I think the whole ‘enjoying sex with men’ thing is what finally did it.”

Buck didn’t realize Maddie’s eyes could get that large until that moment. He could almost see the gears turning in her pretty little head. 

“Devin.” It was the only thing she said, and it came after an excruciating full two minutes of silence. 

All Buck did was nod at first. When it became clear that Maddie couldn’t find her way to any other words, he added, “Turns out you were right all along, oh wise one. We learned a lot more in college than just math.”

After Buck laid out the whole story for her attentive ears, he prepared himself for a barrage of questions. But he wasn’t ready for the only one that actually came. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Shit Mads, I don't know. I was a coward, I guess. I didn’t want you to rub it how right you actually were about Devin and me.”

Maddie’s face fell. “Not Devin, dummy. Why didn’t you ever tell me you were bi? You used to tell me everything until I, um, started isolating. But we were still talking all through your college years. Did you think you couldn’t tell me? That I wouldn’t understand?”

Buck’s heart fell to his stomach. “Oh Maddie no. No, of course that’s not it.” He itched the back of his head and avoided her pleading eyes. “It didn’t seem important until now.”

“Evan James Buckley, that is a part of who you are. Everything about you is important to me. Why wouldn’t that be?”

Buck just shrugged, sipping his wine. “It’s not like I’ve ever actually dated a man. I didn’t really date anyone until Abby, and after that was only Ali. You didn’t know about all the women I was sleeping with, so I guess I just didn’t think I needed to mention that I was also sleeping with men.”

“But now there’s Eddie,” she said slowly, eyeing Buck with a look he couldn’t pin down, despite how well they knew each other. It was somehow a mix of pity, happiness, and loneliness, but that just didn’t make any sense to Buck. So he just agreed.

“Now there’s Eddie,” he said, nodding. 

Her mystery look somehow softened even further. “What’s your plan there?”

Buck groaned and threw back the last of the wine in his glass. “That’s the million dollar question right there. My plan is to figure out a way to date Eddie Diaz. Outside of that? I’m clueless.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was almost totally written while I wrote "When it Started", before I realized this had become it's own story. It's absolutely my own personal headcanon that Buck has known he liked guys for a while but just never thought to mention it, and now I'm making it another headcanon that Buck was one of those ~ _I'm just a really great Ally! I'm not gay or anything though_ ~ kind of teenagers and thus was very familiar with the LGBTQ+ community and language, all while thinking "just cuz i really like kissin and touchin on my bro don't mean i ~like~ guys tho"
> 
> ***TW regarding the 'trans female character'***  
> Buck's roommate starts dating a trans girl and when it comes time for them to have sex, he freaks out because he's worried he'll suck at it, not knowing what to do because he's never been with a trans girl before. He's not overtly transphobic, but he does say a few somewhat ignorant things that might warrant this warning anyways.


End file.
